I know I am not the most politically correct person, ok, I am not at all... I do not want anyone to look up to me because I am clearly not in my right mind. I embrace my insanity because, ya know, it makes things fun!
I refuse to conform to what everyone thinks I should be, and the more I am pushed, the more I rebel. I do not want to be like everyone else in the community! I want to be the person that people come to for a BREAK from the same crap every day (you just better hope I have had plenty of sleep or I am in a good mood, otherwise I am not very entertaining). I am not the average or "normal" military wife. I am sorry, I cannot be that kind of wife... maybe it is because I grew up in this, so all of this is routine for me.
I cannot be the kind of person who surrounds myself with other wives for the common purpose of being the best HOOAH wife ever, not that I don't think it is great what they do, because it is awesome, but that is not me. I am a loner. I like my privacy. I like to chill at home, watch tv, and not feel obligated to anyone but my own family. Does that make me selfish?
Fast forward a few hours: I had to go to physical therapy and then watched a movie...
I have been thinking. I think I seclude myself from other wives on purpose. It sounds strange, but bear with me. I distance myself from the military or anything military related because it reminds me of him (when he is gone), which depresses me, which is what I do not want. I want to do and talk about things that take my mind off of where he is and what he is doing, not having it shoved in my face at every opportunity. Does this make sense? It is not like I do not support the troops or my husband, because I do. It is also not like I am not proud of all of them, I am! I just need to do what works for me to keep my sanity (what little is left), and keep me as who I am. Got it?
You can either hate me for it, be angry at me for it, or be understanding of it... either way, this is how I am and I love me!