I know I am not the most politically correct person, ok, I am not at all... I do not want anyone to look up to me because I am clearly not in my right mind. I embrace my insanity because, ya know, it makes things fun!
I refuse to conform to what everyone thinks I should be, and the more I am pushed, the more I rebel. I do not want to be like everyone else in the community! I want to be the person that people come to for a BREAK from the same crap every day (you just better hope I have had plenty of sleep or I am in a good mood, otherwise I am not very entertaining). I am not the average or "normal" military wife. I am sorry, I cannot be that kind of wife... maybe it is because I grew up in this, so all of this is routine for me.
I cannot be the kind of person who surrounds myself with other wives for the common purpose of being the best HOOAH wife ever, not that I don't think it is great what they do, because it is awesome, but that is not me. I am a loner. I like my privacy. I like to chill at home, watch tv, and not feel obligated to anyone but my own family. Does that make me selfish?
Fast forward a few hours: I had to go to physical therapy and then watched a movie...
I have been thinking. I think I seclude myself from other wives on purpose. It sounds strange, but bear with me. I distance myself from the military or anything military related because it reminds me of him (when he is gone), which depresses me, which is what I do not want. I want to do and talk about things that take my mind off of where he is and what he is doing, not having it shoved in my face at every opportunity. Does this make sense? It is not like I do not support the troops or my husband, because I do. It is also not like I am not proud of all of them, I am! I just need to do what works for me to keep my sanity (what little is left), and keep me as who I am. Got it?
You can either hate me for it, be angry at me for it, or be understanding of it... either way, this is how I am and I love me!
5 comments:
I am the anti-hooah wife... I am NOT just a military wife... it's my husband's JOB- not who he is. I am more than just an appendage of his career...
and that is why most military wives annoy me. I live on base, I ENJOY living on base, and the things our community has to offer. I do not enjoy having it rammed down my throat that "so-and-so's husband isn't a REAL soldier because he hasn't done a tour in two years"... or that "MY husband is better than YOUR husband because HE is up for promotion"... or "I have it harder than you because my husband is/isn't gone all the time"....
Um- hai- moronic housewife with no identity of her own: I am taking a bachelors degree. I am a person with my OWN identity. I'm working on MY OWN career!! So your bullshit pissing contest= not relevant in my world!!!
I suppose this is why you and I get along... I totally get what you are saying!! I don't owe the military diddly squat!! Yes, my husband works there- but you don't see women whose husbands work at McDonald's wearing "mickie d's employee of the month wife" tshirts- and you won't catch me dead wearing ANYTHING that says "army wife" either!!
To each her own! I firmly believe we all deal with the military life in our own way, and that there is no wrong way to do it. Im proud of you that you have been able to stay true to yourself, which is sometimes hard to do when in the middle of it all.
Good post!
Christine, I love you! Michelle, I am just tired of being looked down upon because I am not behaving or acting how everyone seems to think I should. I am Laura, mother, a wife, a college graduate... in that order. I really do not feel I am "married to the army" either... I am married to a man in the army and I have to go along for the ride no matter where it takes us. Suck it up and drive on, right?
I agree with Michelle's "To each her own!" :) Military life is a challenge no matter how you look at it - and whatever works for you, should be your mantra!
I think blogging has really helped me to find my voice. Like you said, my identity is not just "Seth's wife". I am Ann Marie, a wife, a mom... someone who loves to garden, bake pie, and take pictures... the Army is part of our life, but not our ENTIRE life! :)
Sadly though, not everyone is like that. There are those that wear their husbands rank (oooh nothing chaps my hide more than that), or those that want pity for what their husbands do. Nothing upset me more during the last deployment than people talking to me with pity.
I enjoyed my girls nights, lunch out with my coworkers, going to work every day, and being home on the weekend. I enjoyed it when things were about me or my kids and not about the deployment and if he called/emailed/whatever. It made me feel normal (for me).
I had to stop talking to the wives that could only talk about the deployment gossip, phone calls, and whatever horrible thing might happen. It was just not healthy.
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