Sunday, May 25, 2014

PTSD and Cancer

Yes it has been a while, a long while... who would have thought I would get to busy to write??? Maybe I am not too busy, but I have been lacking in motivation. So here is what is new:

My husband's PTSD is getting better, meaning he is learning to manage it better. It is by no means gone, and regardless of what his doctor says it is not in remission (my personal belief is that it can never go into remission, it just becomes a little more manageable with practice and therapy). We have been doing more together as a family like going out for dinner and going to the theater to watch a movie, and while that is an ordeal in itself we have been doing it.

Going out to eat or going to the theater is an ordeal because it always puts my husband in a preemptive trigger. He knows he is going where there will be a lot of people, and he gets very uncomfortable about the thought of it, so he will either become the asshole and go in a bad mood or try to pick a fight so that he can say "Fuck it, go without me."

Last weekend we went to go see Gabriel Iglesias at the Carlson Center in Fairbanks. Before we left he was being crabby, we went to dinner first and he claimed he was not hungry and did not order anything, after we left the restaurant he was hungry so we hit up the McDonald's drive through. Going into the arena he stalled by having to have a cigarette, then when we sat down he was focusing on everyone around us commenting on the way they were dressed, the way they looked, etc. To be fair there was one girl there who was wearing a bra and shirt WAY too small for her which gave her 4 boobs... even Fluffy couldn't believe her fashion faux pas judging by the look on his face, lol:

It looked ridiculous. The husband remarked that he was surprised no one said how stupid she looked before she left the house.

Once the show started he was fine. He was laughing and enjoying himself, it was a nice break from his PTSD until the show was over and he started noticing everyone around him again. He can be super judgmental and I had to repeatedly remind him to lower his voice and relax. We got to meet Gabriel as well, and then we went home. He said he had a good time and was glad he went. Success!

A few weeks ago my oldest son told me that he had found a lump on his testicle. He had tried to get an appointment, but there were never any spots available, so one day when he had a bad cyst on his back that he wanted looked at and fixed he went to the E.R. and had the lump checked then too. An ultrasound was scheduled and he was referred to a urologist for follow up. Long story short, they were pretty certain that his lump was cancer since it was a solid mass and had its own blood supply. The doctor wanted to remove the testicle and test the lump, my son agreed. So in a time span of two and a half weeks he found a lump and had his testicle removed because of it.

Fun fact:  The testicular cancer ribbon is purple, more specifically orchid purple. The color is orchid purple because orchid literally means testicle in Greek.

Moral of the story? Check yourself! Feel your balls! You may lose a ball, but you will also save your life!