Friday, April 29, 2011

This Moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment you want to pause, savour and remember. “This Moment” is a ritual found on Life inspired by the Wee Man which I then kidnapped from Almost there by Sarah-Jane.

If you have a moment to share please leave a link so we can stalk you!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Karma and Emotional Vampires

I believe in Karma. For those of you who do not know, Karma, simply put, means "action". It is the basic belief that whatever happens to you, good or bad, is brought about by your own actions. Karma does not mean revenge. If someone upsets you and you get even that is not Karma, that is revenge. If you take revenge on someone be prepared to face your own Karma.

I fully believe that whatever someone does against me will be repaid to them without my help. Why do anything that will cause more problems unto me? I make a conscious decision to remove negativity from my life because I learned the negativity of others feeds upon me.
The people in your life that just drain you emotionally are called emotional vampires. Emotional vampires are no where near as sexy as real vampires. According to a PsychCentral article written by THERESE J. BORCHARD there are five types of emotional vampires:

Vampire 1: The Narcissist. This vampire is grandiose, self-important, attention hogging, and hungry for admiration. They are often charming and intelligent–until their guru status is threatened.

Vampire 2: The Victim. This vampire thinks the world is against them, and demands that others rescue them.

Vampire 3: The Controller. This vampire has an opinion about everything, thinks he or she knows what’s best for you, has a rigid sense of right and wrong, and needs to dominate.

Vampire 4: The Criticizer. This vampire feels qualified to judge you, belittle you, and bolster their own ego by making you feel small and ashamed.

Vampire 5: The Splitter. This vampire may treat you like their BFF one day, and then mercilessly attack you the next day when they feel like they were wronged. They are often threatening rageaholics who revel in keeping others on an emotional roller-coaster.
The article also lists strategies in dealing with these types of vampires... I normally just avoid them or cut them out of my life. I have no patience for it anymore. For the most part, I believe that all emotional vampires are narcissistic. In all situations the word revolves around them, they believe the attention is due to them or owed to them, and no not care how it makes others feel; more often than not they are unwilling to try to change their draining behaviors and do not believe they have a problem to begin with! They just keep coming to you with their problems, feeding off of you, but make no effort to change. It is like an evil merry-go-round... they keep coming to you with the same problems over and over and over; it is the same drama every day, and of course it is not their fault! Psssh... whatever....

I just say not to let other people dictate your mood. A person only has as much power over you as you let them have. I have been so much happier since I have released the emotional vampires from my life. Every now and again I will get into a draining situation, but I have learned to woosah, Om, or whatever and not let it get to me. It took me YEARS to get to this point, but I am much happier and better off since I learned how to deal with it all. 

In the end just remember that no matter what someone brings upon you, Karma will take care of it in the end.  

Namaste bitches!

Monday, April 25, 2011

It's All About Him

Yesterday I was watching a movie when the daughter came downstairs to let me know the husband was online and wanted to talk to me... so I paused the movie (which was Hereafter, btw) and got in front of the computer...

"Hey babe!"

Nothing... no response.... for 5 minutes! So I logged out of Facebook and resumed watching the movie.

Ten minutes later the daughter comes downstairs again...



"SGT Jekyll!"- OK, she really did not call him that... I call him that.

So I pause the movie YET AGAIN and go and log into Facebook YET AGAIN.

Me- "You there"

Two minutes later- "Yes, I am."

Then nothing... finally 4 minutes after that he asks me: "How do I send you an article?"

Me- "You copy the URL and paste it into the chat box."

Five minutes later, nothing...

"What article?"

"You will see when I send it to you."

Still nothing...

Me- "If you press Ctrl C that copies and Ctrl V pastes as well... it just takes seconds!"

Him- "It won't let me"
"I gotta run, I will call you in a bit"

Now to him a bit can mean a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days... so I went back to my movie. A minute later he called.

He tells me that there is an article on AKO (Army Knowledge Online) that talks about what they are doing and there is a picture of him. So I log into AKO and check all of the news links... nothing.

"Babe, it isn't here."

"Just keep refreshing the page! It will pop up!"

"It does not work that way!"

Finally he tells me that it is on the login page BEFORE you sign in. I finally find the picture with this caption...
U.S. Army Sgt. Jerkyll (I changed the name people!), a Brainerd, Minn., native, now a team leader with 4th Platoon, C Company, 40th Engineer Battalion, 170th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, leaves the bizarre at (location redacted) in Afghanistan, during a patrol, April 14. (Photo by U.S. Army)
Hahahahaha!! They misspelled his name!!!! I proceeded to call him by the misspelled name for the rest of the phone call.

Me- "That is not an article! That is a featured photo!"

Him- "It is an article!"

Me- "No it isn't!!! It is a photo with a caption!"

Him- "No, it is an article!"

Me- "Fine, it is an article... all about you... the whole world wants to know who this Sgt. Jerkyll is!"

Him- "I don't know, but whoever that guy is I am going to kick his ass for getting my name wrong! I told him how to spell it like 10 times!"

He then asked me if my hair was still two-toned. I told him it was. He said that I am such a beautiful blonde, why would I want to have that ugly pink in it? I told him that I could do it here, it is ok here, I can have my job with it here and no one looks twice at me. I cannot do it Stateside, so just let me do it while I am here!!! He said "Fine, keep the pink; get it out of your system!" I love my husband!!!

He always says: "Honey, I did not marry a freak."

To which I reply: "Uh, yes... you did."

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter in my house...

EASTER! It is the day that the Easter bunny goes stalking around in your yards, hiding eggs, and leaving baskets of goodies for the kids. For Christians it is the time to celebrate Jesus's resurrection, for pagans it is the Spring solstice, a time of fertility and regrowth, for Jews it is Passover to commemorate the time when their houses were passed over for having their first born killed in Egypt. Though I was raised Jewish, I am not religious. Easter in my house is a time to bake sweets, have treats, and... stuff... it holds no religious sentiment to me (much like Christmas).

Yesterday we made cookies. I bought a cookie mix by Crayola ...

Notice how pretty the cookies are that you can bake?!? Well we mixed the dough, and it was no where near firm enough to roll out cookies with. I even added flour! So the daughter and I decided to improvise and make our own given the dough we ended up with...
They tasted pretty good, and ended up tasting like cake cookies- very soft!

Then it was time to dye eggs...
It looses its magic as the kids get older...
The kids went to bed and I set out their baskets...
Then comes Easter morning, the kids get up, grab their baskets... and OH LOOK AT THE JOY ON THEIR FACES!!!!

How can you NOT love these kids????

Today we are going to have the traditional Easter BBQ'ed steaks... wait... that is not tradition? Well it is in MY house!!!! I think the eggs and baskets are going to end after this year... hmph. My family really does put the "fun" in dysfunctional!

Friday, April 22, 2011

This Moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
“This Moment” is a ritual found on Life inspired by theWee Man adopted from SouleMama which was introduced to me by Sarah-Jane, author of Almost There. If you find yourself touched by a Moment and would like to participate, post your picture on a Friday and leave your link in the comments section.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Care Packages ROCK!!!!!

First off, I know I have been not posting when I send off care packages because... umm... well... I forgot. I remembered this time! Sorta....  I made up 3 big boxes, packed soda, printer paper, printer ink, dry erase markers, a TB drive, an SD card (so hopefully I will get some pics from downrange), a shit ton of coffee, two pans of Rice Krispy Treats, ravioli, and a bunch of homemade sugar, oatmeal, peanut butter, chocolate chip, and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

You are just going to have to believe me on the food and stuff because I took one picture of one box, then baked my ASS off until 1:30am. When I FINALLY finished and got everything packed I was so excited that I could finally go to bed that I sealed up the box and THEN remembered I did not have a picture of it. I stood in the kitchen for a minute staring at the box debating whether to rip it open and take a picture or not... I decided "Fuck it, I am tired and have to work in the morning, they will just have to believe me."

I did however take a picture of the boxes after I had loaded them on the cart to haul into the Post Office (they were heavy). The little box was my camera lens that I broke... I was sending it off to be fixed (I hope, I hope, I hope).
Like the berries and stuff I added to hide addresses???
After I sent those off I went and checked my mail, and guess what?? I got a care package too!!!! I love getting packages (especially when other people send me things that I did not have to pay for). I promised the person who sent me the goodies that I would video tape my reaction for her to see... so... here it is!!

On a final note (and I apologize in advance for the blurry picture, but since my lens that can take close up pictures is off being repaired...) I walked into my office to see a message on the printer... and it made me giggle...
RIP Software... gone too soon....

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Tale of My First Born

Tork's blog is doing this thing where he wants to hear the birth story of your first born. I love all of my birth stories, but the first born is a special one, because although some may think I have sold my soul to the devil I have never had to give up my first born!

I was 13 years old when I got pregnant, just a few weeks shy of my 14th birthday. "GASP!" You say? OH MY GAW!" You say?? Oh, get over it! He is 20 years old now, and I am 34... he is a wonderful young man that kept my ass in line through the years. If I did not have him I have no idea where I would be today!

I like to joke with my son and tell him he was adopted, but he never buys it... seriously, who in their right mind would give a baby up for adoption to a 14 year old? The pregnancy in itself was pretty uneventful, I did have a threatened miscarriage when I was 3 months pregnant, false labor at 7 months, and in the end he was born a week and a day late.

Other parts of the pregnancy were pretty stressful; like the school counselor trying to talk me into having an abortion because I was too young to have a child, then when I was too far along for an abortion the pressure turned to giving him up for adoption. I was told I was being selfish, that there are so many couples out there that could not have children, and me not giving him up was very selfish of me. I told them that those childless couples could look for a child elsewhere, I was not giving up my baby. I could feel him move in me, I heard his heartbeat, I had already bonded with him! It was out of the question!!!

The day before my due date I went in for a non stress test and an ultrasound. Up until this point I had no idea if I was having a boy or a girl because he always had his legs closed. Tight. On this day he chose to open his legs for a split second and the tech was able to get a photo of his boy bits. She had an arrow pointing to his bits and typed in IT'S A BOY!!! I cried. I cried because I wanted a girl!

The day I went into labor I had no idea I was in labor. I was at home because the school had sent me home the week prior because I was causing a commotion because everyone was afraid I would "pop" right there in the hallways. It was a good thing too because I got sick in that last week, lost my voice, and slept a LOT!

I had counseling that morning, so I went to that appointment. I remember it was snowing outside and my counselor asked me how I was feeling. I told her I felt fine except my back hurt a little. She said "Maybe you will go into labor today!" I said, "No, I do not think so. I have decided I am never having this kid. It is never coming out. I am going to carry it through college." Little did I know...

I went home and felt like cleaning. I started to dust the video shelves when my back started hurting REALLY bad. I laid down on the sofa on my left side like I had been told to do before because I thought it was just the way he was positioned. No help. I went to take a bath because I heard that would help. No dice. I decided to call the doctors office.

"Hi, my back is hurting really bad and it won't stop."

*Sigh* "Have you tried laying on your side?"

"Yes, and it didn't work."

"Have you tried taking a bath?"

"Yes, and it DID NOT WORK!"

"Did you try..."


*Sigh* "When is your due date?"

"It was over a week ago!"

*sound of urgency* "How soon can you come in?"

My father was at work, and his girlfriend was off fucking her ex... so I called my next door neighbor to see if she could take me in. I asked her to give me a few minutes because I just got out of the tub and needed to get dressed. I got dressed and stood in the window to look for her. I waited. And waited.... and waited... I opened the front door to look harder, the dog slipped out and wanted to play catch me if you can.


Baby looks at me like "Ha, who are you kidding? Come CATCH ME!"

"BABY!!!"..... "FINE! Stay out there! Never come in again! STARVE FOR ALL I CARE!", and I slammed the door.

I called my neighbor back and asked her where she was. She said she thought I was going to call her to tell her I was ready. I replied with a whiny "Nooooooooooo!"

She drove me to my doctors office where the doctor told me I was in labor. I proceeded to hyperventilate. Um.. this shit was REAL! I left there and went to the hospital, I was gnawing on the seatbelt at this point. They wheeled me up to labor and delivery where I looked up to see a nurse's face fall and say "Oh God." At the time I had no idea what that was about, but years later I realized she was probably thinking the worst. Litle girl coming in to deliver...

I got in the bed and there was a woman in the room next to me screaming like a banshee. They looked at me and said "You are not going to be like that, are you." I shook my head no.

I had back labor. All out back labor. Something NO ONE prepared me for, not even in lamaze class. They gloss over it, but they never tell you what it feels like. Suck. I found some relief getting on all fours and rocking from side to side. The doctor walked in on me and said "That is fine for now, but once your water breaks you will have to stay on your back." They broke my water, the pain got worse. I started biting the pillow. My neighbor says "Laura, honey, don't bite the pillow." I said "I am going to bite the pillow or I am going to bite you!" She backed up slowly with big eyes and left me alone. At some point a nurse came in and asked me if I wanted something for the pain, I nodded vigerously! Oh please GOD! Someone save me from this PAIN! The shot in the hand they gave me did jack shit. Fuckers.

I started pushing and I thought I was on fire down there. Oh it hurt and burned so bad! His head crowned and the doctor said "Well, whatever it is, it has a lot of hair!" It went reletively quick! I think I only had to push 4-5 times and he was out. From the time I went into labor (that I had to lay down on the sofa) and the time he was born it had been five and a half hours. I never screamed (probably because through all the panting I lost my voice again), I never yelled. He was born and they yelled "IT'S A BOY!!!!" I cried, because I still was hoping for a girl, but the moment that I saw him and held him for the first time I did not care that he was a boy. He was beautiful. So chubby, so perfect.

On March 6, 1991 at 5:36pm my Daniel John was born. Daniel, for a brother that died before I was born, and John after my father. The school was notified, they posted the birth announcement on the blackboard at school, a tutor was sent to my home to teach me during my maternity leave, and having him is a decision I will NEVER regret. To all the people that said I could not do it... fuck you.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Köln in all my Glory!!!!

Yesterday the daughter and I went to Köln (Cologne) with some friends. We drove for over 2 hours, and my dumb ass forgot the Dramamine and we had to stop because the daughter started to get nauseated. But I did get to photograph people, and I ended up with an interesting photo of my daughter in front of the cathedral that looks like I photo-shopped her in there!

When we first got there we parked up on the roof of a parking garage and had to walk down because there were no elevators; forget taking stairs, we had a tandem stroller and a regular stroller, not fun on stairs (might have been interesting though!). We were hungry and decided to eat at the "Chicago Steakhouse"- apparently having giant murals of Jordan on the wall when you first walk in make it a Chicago type grill.

My daughter ordered a hamburger, and I ordered the Texas something or other that consisted of ribs and a steak. The hamburger was just that, a burger, no bun or anything else you expect a burger to have. My ribs were slathered in some really odd "BBQ sauce", and I put that in quotes because it looked and tasted nothing like BBQ sauce- thinking back I probably should have taken a picture, damnit, oh well... the steak had no flavor so I decided that when Germans try to make "American food", they should not... they. just. should. not.

Right outside of the restaurant was the cathedral.

It is so Gothic, I love it!

Me and my daughter... I just noticed yesterday with this pic that she is almost as tall as me!

I hate posing for pics... and I think I need some sun!

At the entrance of the cathedral

This was right in front of where people light those candle thingies... leave me alone, I am not Catholic!

Inside the cathedral, there were those men in red robes all over with wooden boxes hanging around their necks... I am assuming they were expecting donations?

 The cathedral prompted a lot of questions from my daughter, like how do they make stained glass windows? What is confession? When I explained what a confession was in the Catholic faith she replied "That makes no sense." I told her "Honey, that is Catholicism."

 Does anyone else get depressed seeing these things??
My daughter loved this window, though she says it looks WAY better in person!

It was fun explaining to the little kids what a crypt was. I told them it is where they put the dead people... and when little children do not behave they are thrown down there with them. Yes, I seriously said that.

Not sure what this is, but it was right up front. 

Some tapestry that was VERY old! At least close to 500 or more years old! To be honest, a lot of the things in that cathedral were 500 years old or older.

I had only taken his picture, and left a tip... then he wanted me to take my picture with him.

I love Raymond!

AAAAH!!!!! DUNKIN DONUTS!!!! We were in heaven! You realize this is the first time since we arrived in Germany that we have seen a Dunkin Donuts??? When I bought 8 to bring home they were gone within 15 minutes of me walking through the door!

This was a T-Shirt... I should have bought it for AG...

Ok, next time I go to Cologne I am buying this stuff for AG...

Seriously, I think he would appreciate it, don't you??

I love the graffiti here! If only Americans could be as artistic in their tagging of walls!

A fountain outside of the gelato, Starbucks, etc... it was actually a wall with a fountain and a flower bed in front of it.

The next trip is in the works of being planned. I love to travel, and I love seeing new things. I think the next trip might be to Luxembourg... but I am not sure. My creativity has been sparked again and I have a few new ideas for blogs, so "like" my Facebook page, subscribe to my blog, become my stalker, leave me poetry, send me lavish gifts... you know, whatever makes me feel appreciated!!!!

Köln and people, not too shabby!

So here is my attempt at photographing people. I had fun, and they were happy at my attempts to take pictures... so here goes!
This little girl's eyes had me captivated. I am not sure why, but I could not stop staring at her through lunch!

Such a happy little girl!

My friend's daughter with her tongue perpetually sticking out!

I am not sure how I took this picture and made my daughter look like she was never there and I photo-shopped her in!
Damn the barrier thingie, but she got a good pregnancy pic in an epic spot!

I still have no idea what he was making....

Beautiful! I was thoroughly impressed with her artwork! 

He barked at me after I gave him a donation!

This man was having so much fun playing with and posing with the street artists!

Not quite sure what she was supposed to be, but I love her look; such a soulful look to her eyes.

This was pretty good, but I HATED the nose!

I wonder how much time it takes these people to get ready in the morning??

Charlie caught me sneaking a pic of him!
My daughter eating some strawberry gelato

I swear everywhere we turned there were men standing on the side of the road to take a piss!!!

So there you go, I do think it will take some time and practice but I will get better at taking pictures of people... I just really do not like posed photgraphs!