Monday, April 18, 2011

The Tale of My First Born

Tork's blog is doing this thing where he wants to hear the birth story of your first born. I love all of my birth stories, but the first born is a special one, because although some may think I have sold my soul to the devil I have never had to give up my first born!

I was 13 years old when I got pregnant, just a few weeks shy of my 14th birthday. "GASP!" You say? OH MY GAW!" You say?? Oh, get over it! He is 20 years old now, and I am 34... he is a wonderful young man that kept my ass in line through the years. If I did not have him I have no idea where I would be today!

I like to joke with my son and tell him he was adopted, but he never buys it... seriously, who in their right mind would give a baby up for adoption to a 14 year old? The pregnancy in itself was pretty uneventful, I did have a threatened miscarriage when I was 3 months pregnant, false labor at 7 months, and in the end he was born a week and a day late.

Other parts of the pregnancy were pretty stressful; like the school counselor trying to talk me into having an abortion because I was too young to have a child, then when I was too far along for an abortion the pressure turned to giving him up for adoption. I was told I was being selfish, that there are so many couples out there that could not have children, and me not giving him up was very selfish of me. I told them that those childless couples could look for a child elsewhere, I was not giving up my baby. I could feel him move in me, I heard his heartbeat, I had already bonded with him! It was out of the question!!!

The day before my due date I went in for a non stress test and an ultrasound. Up until this point I had no idea if I was having a boy or a girl because he always had his legs closed. Tight. On this day he chose to open his legs for a split second and the tech was able to get a photo of his boy bits. She had an arrow pointing to his bits and typed in IT'S A BOY!!! I cried. I cried because I wanted a girl!

The day I went into labor I had no idea I was in labor. I was at home because the school had sent me home the week prior because I was causing a commotion because everyone was afraid I would "pop" right there in the hallways. It was a good thing too because I got sick in that last week, lost my voice, and slept a LOT!

I had counseling that morning, so I went to that appointment. I remember it was snowing outside and my counselor asked me how I was feeling. I told her I felt fine except my back hurt a little. She said "Maybe you will go into labor today!" I said, "No, I do not think so. I have decided I am never having this kid. It is never coming out. I am going to carry it through college." Little did I know...

I went home and felt like cleaning. I started to dust the video shelves when my back started hurting REALLY bad. I laid down on the sofa on my left side like I had been told to do before because I thought it was just the way he was positioned. No help. I went to take a bath because I heard that would help. No dice. I decided to call the doctors office.

"Hi, my back is hurting really bad and it won't stop."

*Sigh* "Have you tried laying on your side?"

"Yes, and it didn't work."

"Have you tried taking a bath?"

"Yes, and it DID NOT WORK!"

"Did you try..."


*Sigh* "When is your due date?"

"It was over a week ago!"

*sound of urgency* "How soon can you come in?"

My father was at work, and his girlfriend was off fucking her ex... so I called my next door neighbor to see if she could take me in. I asked her to give me a few minutes because I just got out of the tub and needed to get dressed. I got dressed and stood in the window to look for her. I waited. And waited.... and waited... I opened the front door to look harder, the dog slipped out and wanted to play catch me if you can.


Baby looks at me like "Ha, who are you kidding? Come CATCH ME!"

"BABY!!!"..... "FINE! Stay out there! Never come in again! STARVE FOR ALL I CARE!", and I slammed the door.

I called my neighbor back and asked her where she was. She said she thought I was going to call her to tell her I was ready. I replied with a whiny "Nooooooooooo!"

She drove me to my doctors office where the doctor told me I was in labor. I proceeded to hyperventilate. Um.. this shit was REAL! I left there and went to the hospital, I was gnawing on the seatbelt at this point. They wheeled me up to labor and delivery where I looked up to see a nurse's face fall and say "Oh God." At the time I had no idea what that was about, but years later I realized she was probably thinking the worst. Litle girl coming in to deliver...

I got in the bed and there was a woman in the room next to me screaming like a banshee. They looked at me and said "You are not going to be like that, are you." I shook my head no.

I had back labor. All out back labor. Something NO ONE prepared me for, not even in lamaze class. They gloss over it, but they never tell you what it feels like. Suck. I found some relief getting on all fours and rocking from side to side. The doctor walked in on me and said "That is fine for now, but once your water breaks you will have to stay on your back." They broke my water, the pain got worse. I started biting the pillow. My neighbor says "Laura, honey, don't bite the pillow." I said "I am going to bite the pillow or I am going to bite you!" She backed up slowly with big eyes and left me alone. At some point a nurse came in and asked me if I wanted something for the pain, I nodded vigerously! Oh please GOD! Someone save me from this PAIN! The shot in the hand they gave me did jack shit. Fuckers.

I started pushing and I thought I was on fire down there. Oh it hurt and burned so bad! His head crowned and the doctor said "Well, whatever it is, it has a lot of hair!" It went reletively quick! I think I only had to push 4-5 times and he was out. From the time I went into labor (that I had to lay down on the sofa) and the time he was born it had been five and a half hours. I never screamed (probably because through all the panting I lost my voice again), I never yelled. He was born and they yelled "IT'S A BOY!!!!" I cried, because I still was hoping for a girl, but the moment that I saw him and held him for the first time I did not care that he was a boy. He was beautiful. So chubby, so perfect.

On March 6, 1991 at 5:36pm my Daniel John was born. Daniel, for a brother that died before I was born, and John after my father. The school was notified, they posted the birth announcement on the blackboard at school, a tutor was sent to my home to teach me during my maternity leave, and having him is a decision I will NEVER regret. To all the people that said I could not do it... fuck you.

Daniel's NJROTC Graduation

The day he graduated High School
Us at the Five Finger Death Punch Concert


alejandro guzman said...

Awesome Laura! good on you to now have a son and a close friend.

Seriously though it does depend on the individual and I don't think many 14 year olds would be as committed or enlightened as you were.


Anonymous said...

I remember you pregnant. I think that you had this big gray sweater thing that you wore all the time. My mom took me to Goodwill or somewhere and let me pick out a few outfits for Daniel. I was so happy that I could do that! Always thought of you and Daniel, even after we lost contact and always wondered how you were doing and would figure out how old he would be!! - Stacey

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Laura - You're a really brave woman (a girl then) to have been through all on your own! All credit to you that your Daniel turned out so well. He continues to be cute ;)

Jan said...

How proud you must be of each other. What a beautiful love you have and fantastic strength. I had my first at 16 and my best friend had her first at 15, they have both done well. It can be done, love and determination. Congratulations to you and Daniel.

Jessica said...

What a huge testimony to your character and spirit that you were able to raise such a wonderful young man, having him at such an early age. Not many can do that. It looks like you guys have such a great relationship! What a beautiful story of love and dedication. Thank you for sharing.

Torkona said...

I am so happy that you shared :-) I hope your readers enjoy it and perhaps a few young ppl that might be in the same situation today to know that its gunna be alright :-)

- tork

Laura said...

Thanks to everyone! It has been a journey, but one I would never trade!

Mary said...

Laura, I really enjoyed reading this. When I was in High School, so many girls that got pregnant aborted or gave their child up for adoption. Making the decision to keep your child, against all others advice, took a lot of strength and courage at such a young age. But your life was blessed and enriched by a beautiful baby boy and you can see the love in the picture. Thanks for sharing your story! It is a great post :)

Beth said...

I read your post in awe Laura. Thanks for sharing your experience of strength and courage, especially at such a tender age Daniel is a credit to you and you a strong and supportive mother from a young age. An example to many. A beautiful post x