I was up till 3am pissed off and butthurt, yes it was over the same shit I have been upset about for the past almost 3 weeks (hey, I hold a grudge!). Finally I chatted online with a few friends and one of them told me just to talk to the friends that hurt my feelings. I needed to get it off of my chest, and it would be a way for me to find out who really cares. So since it was so late/ early, depending on whether you were waking up or going to bed, I decided to email them and tell them how I felt.
It was a good release, and I was able to put my thoughts down somewhat coherently considering I had been drinking some wine to calm down (I was sobbing like a little bitch). The next morning one friend emailed me back, and this afternoon the other friend called me (since I was not home and did not get her emails). Both apologized and said there was no excuse for not visiting or calling, I felt much better. I have forgiven them for that and am going to try to move on now.
This is the Christmas season. A time of year to be joyous, loving, and caring. Not a time for drama, tears, and deceit. Through this I have learned who I can trust, who I cannot, and who is real. I learned that if I am hurt I need to speak up right away no matter how afraid I am of hurting the other persons feelings... if I do not then I am just destroying myself inside. I also know that sometimes if you do not say anything, some people might not notice or remember what is going on in your life; don't expect them to without you saying something, that is the mistake I made. Sitting around and sulking makes nothing better.
On that note, I feel so much better tonight than I have in weeks. My husband and I were able to help a family in need by towing them out of being stuck on the road (snow and ice). He was so excited to be helping others he wanted to go right back out and find other people to rescue!!! Tomorrow I am going to do the baking I never got a chance to do today since I was gone all day with my husband and daughter.. maybe. Right now I am so tired I am not sure how I am even still awake!