Yesterday SGT Babysitter came home with Private Baby's name tag for his uniform.
Me:What are you doing with that?
Him: Private Baby says he cleaned it and it cannot get any cleaner.
Me: It REEKS of Army! **FYI, when I say something smells like Army, that would be the smell of dirt, oil, and diesel**
Him: And he said he washed it.
So I grab it and clean it by hand using Dawn dish soap. Apparently it was not clean enough for SGT Perfectionist (also known as SGT Babysitter- he will have many names, it all depends on the day), so he grabs it and rubs OXY Clean all over it, scrubs it with a scrub brush, rinses it, looks at it and declares he is pissed off that the washing machine is locked because it is in the middle of a load (German washers take 2 hours to wash), and he wanted to throw in in the wash for good measure.
I snatch it from his hands and tell him it is fine, it is as clean as I had gotten it the first time, and proceed to get the extra water off with a towel. He sets it on the heater to dry. The next morning Private Baby asked my husband "How did you get it clean???" My husband tells him "I washed it..."
Private Baby: You have to show me your secret!
When my husband told me this I told him to tell him fine, he will show him the secret- then walk him to the laundry room and show him the washing machine and explain what it is and what it does.
Well now since Private Baby missed morning formation yesterday because he overslept, and got kicked out of taking his drivers test for falling asleep, and my husband is not ready to ruin the kid's career by doing the paperwork to kick him out just yet, my husband is losing part of his Christmas block leave to try to get this kid's shit straight. I just want to go in and give him one of my famous "Mom lectures". Ask my kids, my lectures are pure torture!