Tuesday, May 17, 2011

IMMA GONNA BE RICH! And grow my own penis...

Imagine my utter delight each and every day when I check my email folder and see these messages telling me that an entire family died in some horrific plane crash and no one is left to claim the inheritance. Oh my GAWD! What is this lawyer, financial counselor, barista (or is that barrister? A barista would be better in my opinion...) going to DO?

Fear not people! They have contacted ME for some unknown reason to save the day! All I have to do is receive the money for them, send it back to them, and I get 40% of MILLIONS! What are they going to do with their 60%?? Well, they are going to donate it to charity of course... send it for those poor, starving, and AIDS inflicted orphans in Africa.
They are happy to hear this news!!!

Another email tells me that some man named MR. JOE THOMPSON tells them that I am dead and that if I do not come forward and say that I am not dead (while providing my Name, Age, Sex, Country, House Address, Occupation, Phone Number, and Marital Status) they will give this Mr. Thompson my $750,000 all on an ATM card! OHMYGAW! I better act fast! I email them back and tell them that yes, I am dead, and go ahead and give him the funds...

I got another email stating that those people who have been emailing me and taking my money that I have been sending them are scamming me! *GASP!* I have been sending people money???? But fear not (once again) because they are the TRUE holders of my millions in funds that for some reason have come my way! Once again I just need to provide my Name, Age, Sex, Country, House Address, Occupation, Phone Number, and Marital Status and send them $350 or some shit and the MONEY IS MINE!!!! 

People of the interwebs, I am gonna be rich. I have so much money coming my way I won't know what to do with it all...

But OH! I think I have an idea! I just got another email telling me that I deserve an eight inch penis! How are they going to send that to me?? Anyway... if I just click on their link I can grow my longness now! I can also get real results after 3 months! I can grow an eight inch long penis in 3 months??? I wonder what kind of soil I will need??

7 comments:

baldychaz said...

You truly are a lucky lady, fate is smiling down on you. You could start a whole eight inch penis farm ;)

Mary said...

I'm with Baldy on that! LMAO! I get those damn emails as well and just delete, delete, delete. I mean really...how stupid do they actually think people are? Of course, I'm sure, that some dumb ass out there will send them the information that they want imagining that they will be a millionaire when they wake up in the morning!

alejandro guzman said...

Hey! I've won the European lottery 3 times already! Haven't seen a cent!
Yet 8 inches is too long to pleasure a lady and certainly doesn't pleasure the owner of said 8 inches, I can tell you...ohhh

A

bjbohls said...

Hello Laura -

Gosh, above this comment box is a caption that says "Leave me (you) some LOVE!" How much love does a mommy need?

You have scammed some poor soul out of his 8" pp, and you're planning on replanting for multiplication purposes. You're creating a field of monsters there. Send you some love? How much lovin' does a girl need, you ball hog ;).

Funny post and I love it. :)

Jessica M said...

lol Great post! Yes, I've gotten those emails before too! With all the millions floating around we could pool together and have one heck of a Blogplicity party! I'm thinking on some nice tropical island resort!

Yes I Blog said...

Oh the things that show up in our junk mail folders! I've had some pretty fun ones myself.

I too love all the sexual oriented ones geared toward men that get sent to me...obviously a WOMAN! ::snort::

www.wishyoucouldblog.blogspot.com

Rimly said...

I keep getting these emails very regularly but to increase you penis is something new. LOL!

http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.com/2011/05/our-kiss.html