Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I love you more. Impossible.

I struggled all day yesterday. I had times that I cried, or fought back crying, I had times that I was just "blah". In the end I was just ok.
When it came time to take my husband in to work I was still ok. He and the kids said goodbye to each other, said their "I love you's" and we left with minimal tears (aside from the daughter).

We got to the gate and the guards pulled us over for a random inspection... they wiped the steering wheel, door, and something in the back of our vehicle (where all of my husbands gear was). BIG SURPRISE: I hear a BEEP!

The guard came back to the front of the vehicle.
Guard: I got to swab it again.
Me: Did it make your machines beep?
Guard: Yes. It tested positive for explodey stuff (I swear to GOD he said explodey).
Me: My husband is an engineer! He has magazines for his weapon back there! OF COURSE he is going to test positive for splodeys!

They swabbed it again but this time left his gear alone. We passed.

We got to the company and it all began. It seemed like any other day, and I have to say I was proud of what I saw. Everyone was carrying on like it was another day, there were no tears, and no signs of sadness. There were weapons and bags everywhere but the overall feeling was upbeat. I was glad for that, I could not handle depressing.

There was still last minute stuff to be done, and I ended up having to run back home to get some stuff from Jeff's Army room. I got back and they were all getting their weapons and going back to spend time with their families; still no tears. I saw one family who is completely new to this making happy memories rather than crying.

I was glad I got to be with my husband and spend that time with him and the men he works with.

After all the weapons had been issued, all the extra equipment found a place to go, and all of the bags had been placed in the truck, trailers, or buses it was time for the last few minutes we would be together. 

And last minute smokes.
We took pictures, and we were still smiling.

I told my husband that I love him, he replied with "I love you more", I tell him "Impossible"...
I let him know that I will miss him and to take care. Even in those last seconds we had to say goodbye and get our last hugs and kisses that we would get for a year there were no tears, not even from the young families brand new to this. I was proud. I was proud for my husband, proud for his soldiers, proud for all of the soldiers! I was proud of the young wife who just spent months without her husband because he was at basic training and was just reunited with him in November, and who is going through her first deployment  with a beautiful little girl alone in a strange country; she did not cry. We know that by crying we make it harder on our husbands and possibly any one else that might see us. To me this is Army Strong.

I did go and immediately buy some wine, but I went home and did not drink any of it. That night... we will see how tonight goes.


alejandro guzman said...

All of you are very strong. Kudos to you!
I know I would have drank the wine, no, 3 wines and sobbed like a baby.

All the best A

The Household 6 Diva said...

I am so glad you enjoyed those last few moments with your hubby! And I LOVE your pictures! :)

PS let me know if you want some help with that wine! ;)

Laura said...

Company for "wine tasting" is ALWAYS welcome!

Jim said...

I empathise with how you feel Laura. Our son spent 6 months in Iraq in the British Army. Just knew he would come home, but yes there are always worries.
I was thinking about all the fears we held for him then, when we were out fishing together last week. Gave him a hug.
You'll be getting plenty too in the future.

Bongo said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww laura...I'm glad you had close time together...I'm glad for the soldiers that there were no tears...but I know you have some in are one very strong brave lady and you inspire me... and as you have held my hand.. I am here to tell you my hand is there whenever you should want or need it....Thank you for sharing your journey....As always... XOXOXOXO

Crazysheika said...

I am not one to tear up. But I did just a little. I don't want to know what it would be like for Bill to go away like that I have enough with him going on the road. You are a strong woman. I do look up to you Lady. :)

YogaSavy said...

Bless the both of you. You two make a fine pair!

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Laura - You guys are so brave! I'm an Army brat - my Dad was in the Indian army and I've been in the place of your kids....Be strong y'all. Hugs from India!

pamanner said...

Awh. . .sorry but grateful for you!!!! So many people forget about the family left behind (many times women) who hold it all together until they come home! xo

Heather said...

God bless you and your family! I am always grateful for people like you and your husband.

Jessica M said...

Your husband and his friends as well as you, your families and their families, bless our country with their courage and sacrifice. I loved the pictures. May God continue to keep him safe and give you peace in times when he is away.

Michelle said...

Hope you had as good of a day as possible. Take care of yourself, and let me know if you need anything.


Jewell said...

Laura...Army strong means so much to so many, and on so many different levels. I am always as awed by the families as much, if not more, as I am by our troops. Blessings to you, your family, and your husband and his company! You all make me proud to be American! ((( Laura )))