I am not sure what to do. Does anyone know how it feels as a parent to see your child suffering in any way and not know how to fix it?
My daughter is 11 years old. She is super emotional and cries very easily. Lately she has been complaining of stomach pain and ankle pain. The doctors cannot find anything wrong with her, the school nurse has grown tired of seeing her in her office crying, I am frustrated with having to go get her because she will cry harder if she cannot come home.
She has a lot of friends, she is well liked, she is not bullied... that is not the issue. Today I had to get her from school again because her stomach was hurting and she was feeling like she was going to throw up. While I was there I spoke with the school psychologist and we set it up so my daughter can start seeing her. On the way home my daughter told me that she is sad, but she does not know why. She does not want to cry all the time, but she does not know how to stop it. The psychologist is going to work with her on being more in control of her emotions and learn how to calm herself. She thinks that my daughter might need an antidepressant temporarily. That hurts.
Why is she sad? Has puberty rebelled on her? How can I make it all better?
Can I blame her sperm donor for creating a traumatic early childhood for her? After an unsupervised weekend with her biological father when she was three she told me that a man came to the door at her father's house and he had a gun. She said that she, her little brother, and her father's girlfriend had to go upstairs and hide in the closet. She would tell me how she saw her father beat his girlfriend.
"He hit her Mommy."
I refused to send them to him again after that. I wrote everything down. I recorded what she said. The judge allowed me to refuse visitation if I felt that their father was under the influence of drugs or alcohol- that was easy, he was never sober.
She had night terrors. I would be awoken in the middle of the night by her screaming like she saw a ghost. I would go in her room and she would be standing on her bed, squeezing herself into the corner of the wall and screaming and crying. After a few years the night terrors would stop, but when puberty hit the crying over everything started. I did not have much of a reprieve between the two.
She does not remember him, she does not remember witnessing the abuse, but has the damage stuck with her on a subconscious level? Yes, he beat me too, she saw it then. She remembers nothing, not even him or what he looks like. Did his actions towards me and his girlfriend have a lasting effect?
How can I help her? I feel so powerless. I brought her home, gave her some medicine for her stomach that makes her sleep. She is in bed sleeping and I am downstairs with my mind racing.