Sunday, June 26, 2011

Adventures in Funerals: Part 3

Before my husband had arrived in the States, I spent a little bit of time with my brother and sister in law. I had told my brother in law that we needed to get the dog buried soon or I was afraid that we would go in for the viewing and see a little white poodle tucked under my father in law's arm in the coffin. He laughed then went straight faced, "Oh my god! Don't say that in front of my mom or she will do it!"

We had gone to the store to choose the flowers for the viewing and funeral. It happened to be right after all of the graduation ceremonies, so there were a lot of congratulatory balloons around as well. I shouted out: "I KNOW! Let's get a SHIT TON of balloons!!! I'm sure your mother would just love that!"

My brother in law pointed to a balloon with writing on it, and in an accusatory voice said "YOU did it!". I never noticed the balloon behind me, and it had written on it "YOU DID IT!". I laughed like a lunatic, and just then the florist walked up.

We were discussing the arrangements, and choosing what we liked. She left to go into the back to see if she had the kind of flowers we were looking for. We resumed our joking about the balloons, and my brother in law said that if we had the balloons there his grandmother would probably have a heart attack. It was at this point I noticed there was another message on the other side of the balloon, so I grabbed the balloon, turned it around so he could see, and said "Way to go!"

My brother and sister in law were laughing so hard by then that they had tears running down their faces... and right then the florist came back. I am sure were were totally inappropriate considering the situation, but I have a hard time being serious all the time.

The next day...
My mother in law's father and brother were on their way from Texas. We had plans to go over, bury the dog, and tidy up as best as we could before they got there. The problem was getting my mother in law out of the house without everyone else with her so that it could get done (she did not want to see the dog buried).

There were so many things to get done! When I woke up Thursday morning I had an email from my sister in law that included a poem that was to be printed out and distributed with the memorial cards that get printed out for the viewing and funeral. The card had been chosen the night previous over dinner at Perkin's. My husband and I tweaked it a bit, we got picked up from the hotel room and left to go find clothes for my father in law to be buried in. That went over well without much of a hitch aside from my husband deciding he needed a new suit to wear to the viewing. We went to the funeral home, gave them the clothes and a wedding ring (that was too small so we had to get another one), chose pictures for a video memorial, did the final deliberations over the quotes on the cards, and left to go get some food.

My mother in law wanted to go to Bonanza, but I HATED the place... oh well, we went anyway. We get our food and sit down to eat. My mother in law had not been eating or sleeping, so we were determined to get her full so she would get sleepy. I ordered the waitress to take back the regular coffee my mother in law ordered, and had her bring decaf. I was half tempted to drop a few sleeping pills in there, but before I made up my mind she returned to the table (damn). Halfway through our meal she started crying loudly. My husband (who was sitting next to her) says to her "Stop that. Quit it Mom. There is a time and a place for that, and this is not it. Just hold it in."

OK, he was not THAT mean...
I nudged him with my elbow. When he looked over at me I whispered "She just lost her husband, she is in pain. She is your mother. Fucking HUG her!" So he did a sideways hug and arm rub real quick... oh well... it is the best he can ever do. It helped though, she stopped crying. After the meal I ran outside to smoke, not bothering to wait for anyone else to finish, and my sister in law followed me. We walked over to Office Max or some shit and had copies made of the poem, ran them to the funeral home, then went over to my mother in law's house.

We met back up with my husband and brother in law where we hung out for a little bit, then we all left to go to the framing shop to begin work on "The Shrine". Next it was on to Wal Mart to get stuff that my husband needed (razors, swim trunks that he would never use, deodorant, etc.). After all of that it was time for dinner, but we still had to get missing ribbons for the uniform, get the uniform dry cleaned... bah, that has to wait.

By the time we got back to the hotel it was about 10 at night... we could do the rest of the running tomorrow,  it was just a few things, right? It was my birthday the next day, and I wanted a manicure and a pedicure!


Fernando said...

pedicure? just in case you started dancing on the tables barefoot at the wake?

oh boy


Corinne Rodrigues said...

Here was I waiting for the dog to be defrosted! How many parts is this serial? It's getting curiouser and curiouser - and so am I!