What's Next??

Since the last time I wrote I decided to take a week off of work to try to get my thoughts together. So much has happened that I needed a break and I decided to cut the one thing I could from my life (if only for a week)... work. Prepare yourself for a long post...

Monday was a day from hell... I took my cat Draco to the vet because we noticed he was losing weight. I had been noticing that he was peeing lakes in the litter box, and combined with the weight loss I was afraid of diabetes. 

This picture was taken at Christmas... from then when he was a fluffy 20 lb furball, till I took him to the vet on Monday he had lost 7 lbs. That 7 lb weight loss happened in a matter of weeks.

At the vet... not happy!

They took a blood sugar test and his numbers were over 400... diabetes. The vet suggested a low fat, low carb, high protein food for him and I grabbed the largest bag that they had there. a 20 lb bag cost me almost $60, add to that the vet's fees and I spent over $300 that morning... I still had to go get his insulin from the human pharmacist.

After the vet I had an appointment to see the husband's counselor. That went well, we discussed what he is going through emotionally, what we can expect, and what the plan is. It is a lot of information, so much so that I cannot wrap my head around it this morning (not enough coffee). Basically, he is a wreck emotionally when he can be. During his counseling appointments and such he remembers things, talks about it, cries, shakes, and allows himself to feel (and it scares him). As soon as he leaves and goes back to work he is back in soldier mode and no one at his work can see a difference in his performance. That made me feel better knowing he is holding his military bearing when he needs to- it is not affecting his job right now and no one is looking down on him. 

Right after that I had to go get the daughter from school and take her to the orthodontist to get fitted for her braces. That was a 3 hour appointment. While waiting I picked up Draco's insulin and about died from the sticker shock... $155 for his insulin and syringes!!! HOLY SHIT! That cat cost me almost $500 in one day! If he was not my furbaby and if I did not love all my furbabies like my own kids... never mind, I can't even think about that. Some might say, "He is a cat! That is a lot of money for a cat!" Well yes, but if you do not love animals like my family does, if your pets are not members of your family, then you will never understand.

I got home, worked on school work, and went to bed after 11 pm. I woke up the next day at 5:30 am and started my day. I decided I needed a day to relax. No appointments, no where to go. A day to relax, sleep, and clean if I felt like it. So I called in to work, told my boss I needed a day, and prepared myself to relax! Well, that day was hijacked when the daughter's school called me and told me she was feeling sick, throwing up, and hysterical. SHIT! OK, so I go get her from school, she is having another panic attack (she has been having them a lot lately). I took her home and called Behavioral Health to see if I could get her in to see an MD to get her prescribed something for the attacks and such. They have her see a counselor who basically told her that she was doing all of this for attention and likened her panic attacks to teenage temper tantrums. She also told me that I needed to let her figure stuff out (stuff meaning how to calm herself, etc.) on her own. She had been refusing to eat or drink all morning, and I had a feeling that some of her issue was because of that. The counselor said "She will eat when she is hungry, she will drink when she is thirsty"... uh, really? No she won't. Does she know ANYTHING about teenagers? ANYTHING about behavioral health, emotional disorders... ANYTHING?!?!?!?! UGH!

Me... things got pretty serious on Monday!

I was told to take my daughter to her regular doctor to have him prescribe something for depression and anxiety. I did. He told me he does not do that, it is up to the psychiatrist to do, and she needs to see a psychiatrist. @#$%^!!!!!! He did note that the last time she went in and got labs done they noticed she was dehydrated. He explained dehydration can cause dizziness  stomach upset, etc... Might be anxiety, might be dehydration, might be both? He did end up prescribing her an antidepressant, and said to follow up with a psychiatrist so that she can continue on the meds if they work. I went and got that filled and then went to Popeye's to get the daughter some mashed potatoes and fries so she could eat something soft that would not hurt her mouth (braces, remember?). 

The rest of the day went great. The next day I went to work, told my boss I needed at least a week off, and went home. I was able to be home, clean, relax, and I felt great. Then Thursday came and I went to a few appointments with the husband. I wanted to know what he was being told vs. what he heard. He has so many thoughts and fears and emotions swirling around in his head he is not hearing everything as it is in reality. We left his appointments and went to meet with his CO. That went well, it is amazing how different he acts in front of his CO over the counselors. How much BETTER he listens to his CO over his counselors! Maybe it is the military authority thing, and due to the nature of his PTSD he is able to snap back well enough to listen to his CO over his female, non-military counselors. 

So here is the plan. The husband is going to be sent to a 5 week or so intensive PTSD treatment center in San Antonio. He is scared, but we all think it is best for him and know he will be so much better when he gets back. I just keep telling him it is going to be ok, you can do this, you are going to be alright...

I also told him that he needs to consider the benefits to doing this and getting better. Not only will he be happy and able to relax for the first time in I don't know how many years, but he will be able to be a mentor to others that are experiencing what he is right now! He can tell them it is ok, he can tell them that this will not ruin their career AS LONG AS THEY GET HELP! PTSD is NOT PERMANENT!!  It is not a death sentence if you seek and get the help you need! There is hope, and he will be able to provide a whole new perspective and level of expertise (in a way) as an NCO that he was not able to do before. This treatment is only going to make him a better person! It is just sad that he can not see any of that right now...