Friday, July 1, 2011

Adventures in Funerals: Part 5

Sorry for the delay in part 5, but I had to work. Yes, it is a four letter word...

When I last wrote my sister in law and I were heading over to my mother in law's house because her father and brother had just arrived from Texas. I wondered if they had found the dog yet...

We first went to JC Penny's to get my sister in law some shoes she could wear with her dress at the funeral, and while we were there we found my mother in law a blouse and sweater she could wear. Score! On our way again...

We show up and go into the house an I meet my uncle in law and grandfather in law (haha) for the first time ever. They looked very tired since they had driven from Texas to Minnesota in 22 hours (with a 2 hour stop to rest). My sister in law and I were given the task to go strip the bed that my father in law slept in and put clean sheets on it. We decided instead to strip everything (pillows and blankets included), shove them in bags to stow in the garage for the time being, and buy new pillows later. But in my brilliance I decided to take the pillowcases off of the pillows first, and as I raised my arms to shake the pillow out of the case my hand discovered that there was a moving ceiling fan right above me. My left index finger hit the fan, there was a bright flash as I blew out the light bulb (my sister in law swore she saw sparks fly out), and I threw down the pillow, grabbed my finger, and calmly said "Ow. That is going to leave a bruise."

My mother in law came in just then and stated that it would be brighter in the room if we just turned on the light, and told us how to turn on the ceiling fan light. We laughed and explained that I broke it, so the bulb was burned out. She got us another bulb and some bags for the bedding.

When we were done with the bed my husband and his brother showed up. My husband's uncle explained that he left his medicine in Texas (his wife was mailing it), so if he got loud and started yelling for no reason it was because he did not have his medicine. I remarked that I would have just thought it was a family thing, and that got laughs followed by a heated discussion of who was the quiet one in the family.

We all decided that it was time to eat... again... and left for brunch/lunch/whatever. Never mind that I really was not hungry, and had been eating out every freaking meal, sure that I had RUINED my diet and gained everything right back... when that was done we went back to my mother in law's house so that her brother and dad could sleep some, her brother gave me $5 to find him a tie, and I told my mother in law that I was going to get a mani/pedi and she was going too. She declared that she would never get a pedicure because she cannot stand people touching her feet, but she would get a manicure. I walked over to my husband and forcefully whispered: "I am taking your mother to get her nails done. While we are gone... bury the damn dog." He said he planned on it... about fucking time!

We left the guys and went to get our nails done. As my sister in law sat in the massage chairs for our pedicure's we noticed my mother in law talking to the nail tech doing her nails, then talking to the ladies at the drying booth, smiling, laughing... OMG! She looked HAPPY! Just then the guys called stating they were picking up the shrine (before it was called the shrine) and that it was so big that they could not get their mother to take her to the church to talk to the priest... there was no room in the car. My sister in law told them to drive over where we were, put the frame in her vehicle, and get their mother. They were supposed to be on their way so my mother in law went outside to wait. Almost an hour later they were still not there, and I told my sister in law that if those boys ruined my mother in law's good mood I would kill both of them! My sister in law ended up taking my mother in law to the church while I was left behind having my nails finished. They nail tech looked nervous seeing them leave and asked if I was paying for them. Of course...

30 minutes later my nails were done, I went outside to smoke and wait for my sister in law. She pulled up right away and this is when I got my first look at the shrine. My sister in law has a small SUV, it kind of looks like this, but white:---------------------->

The shrine took up the entire area from the back of the front seats to the tailgate, and the entire width of the vehicle. Seriously... I took one look at that thing and said "That is huge. Ridiculously huge. Obscenely huge. What the hell was he thinking?!?!"

My sister in law just rolled her eyes.

She called them to see where they were and they were finishing at the church, so we decided to go into Wal Mart to get the tie. I found a plain black tie for $10, got it, and then we were on our way to... yep. Eat. Again. This time it was Chinese. We were all at a table looking at the Chinese zodiac, everyone was asking me to read theirs (bad eyesight?) and then Grandpa asked me to read his wife's zodiac. She was listed as "The Cock"... just then his wife called him. He answers the phone "HELLO COCK!"

If anyone has been around me when I laugh, and especially when I laugh at something that has caught me off guard, I am loud. Think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman loud. When I laugh everyone looks... and I mean EVERYONE. Thankfully there was enough people at the table that looks from others were blocked.

After dinner we went separate ways, aside from my mother in law was with us. She gave me $120 to get flowers from her family and we went to Wal Mart where I tried to keep my husband from buying a remote controlled boat to use in the hotel pool... I have a sneaking suspicion he got it after I left and mailed it home.

We took my mother in law home, and my husband and I went back to the hotel. We were sitting on the bed watching television when I looked over at him and noticed he was staring up at the ceiling.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, I am fine."

"Bullshit. You are not grieving. You are not mourning. You are running all over trying to take care of everyone else and you are ignoring you. Mourn, cry... it is ok."

"No, it is not."

"Yes it is."

Just then I saw a moment of weakness. I saw his chin quiver. I grabbed him, pulled him over to me and hugged/cradled him like a child. He cried harder than I have ever seen him cry before. Sobbing and saying "I miss him. What am I going to do? I loved him!" I said nothing and held him. When he slowed the tears I said "See, it is ok to cry. You are human."

"No I'm not. I'm a soldier."

"You are human. If I cut you, do you not bleed?"


He laughed. We got up to go outside to smoke, and all I could think of was that the viewing was tomorrow. He had not seen his father yet, and I had no idea how he was going to react.

And yes, the dog did get buried.


Bongo said...

I do not know what to say???????
As always..XOXOXOXOO

Jewell said...

Woot! The food won't have that oh so fresh odor of deceased dog! This is good to know going into the next episode! =) LOL

I'm so glad to see that you and hubby got to spend some time alone together for him to process the loss of his dad. I think I said most of the same things during my crying jag over my mom that he did over his dad.

Love to you both! xo

BlogNostics said...

And it continues..

Corinne Rodrigues said...

You know what, Laura, the more I read, the more I realize our common humanity - you guys in the US and we here in India - funerals too are occasions for family reunions, food, laughter, sadness, memories.....